oh internet

Cyber sex warrior with world renowned logs.

Summary

Bloodninja was the handle of a netizen who trolled cybersex chat rooms for partners. The posted logs are considered some of the funniest transcripts in internet history.

Example logs:

Bloodninja : Baby, I been havin a tough night so treat me nice aight?

BritneySpears14 : Aight.

Bloodninja : Slip out of those pants baby, yeah.

BritneySpears14 : I slip out of my pants, just for you, Bloodninja.

Bloodninja : Oh yeah, aight. Aight, I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14 : Oh, I like to play dress up.

Bloodninja : Me too baby.

BritneySpears14 : I kiss you softly on your chest.

Bloodninja : I cast Lvl 3 Eroticism. You turn into a real beautiful woman.

BritneySpears14 : Hey...

Bloodninja : I meditate to regain my mana, before casting Lvl 8 Penis of the Infinite.

BritneySpears14 : Funny I still don't see it.

Bloodninja : I spend my mana reserves to cast Mighty of the Beyondness.

BritneySpears14 : You are the worst cyber partner ever. This is ridiculous.

Bloodninja : Don't mess with me biznitch, I'm the mightiest sorcerer of the lands.

Bloodninja : I steal yo soul and cast Lightning Lvl 1,000,000 Your body explodes into a fine bloody mist, because you are only a Lvl :2 Druid.

BritneySpears14 : Don't ever message me again you piece.

Bloodninja : Robots are trying to drill my brain but my lightning shield inflicts DOA attack, leaving the robots as flaming piles of :metal.

Bloodninja : King Arthur congratulates me for destroying Dr. Robotnik's evil army of Robot Socialist Republics. The cold war ends. :Reagan steals my accomplishments and makes like it was cause of him.

Bloodninja : You still there baby? I think it's getting hard now.

Bloodninja : Baby?

I.F. : My sh*t is hard you ready to jump aboard?

1hOttYeVe : oh yhea im so wet right now

I.F. : Why you just shower?

1hOttYeVe : no im wet for you

I.F. : Did you ever play with supersoakers when you were a kid? or that gator sh*t you would dive and slide down, there was that :badass pool at the end of it.

1hOttYeVe : What the fck are you talking about? You wanna cyber or not?

I.F. : I do! Sorry...I just didnt know why you were wet...then you say your wet for me, and im thinking I didnt even throw water on :you...

I.F. : Im sorry lets continue!

1hOttYeVe : alright then...I walk over to you and start kissing your neck and chest

I.F. : I pop like 16 boners

1hOttYeVe : what the fck!

I.F. : what?

BritneySpears14 : Ok, are you ready?

EminemBNJA : Aight, yeah I'm ready.

BritneySpears14 : I like your music Em... Tee hee.

EminemBNJA : huh huh, yeah, I make it for the ladies.

BritneySpears14 : Mmm, we like it a lot. Let me show you.

BritneySpears14 : I take off your pants, slowly, and massage your muscular physique.

EminemBNJA : Oh I like that Baby. I put on my robe and wizard hat.

BritneySpears14 : What the fck, I told you not to message me again.

EminemBNJA : Oh sh*t

BritneySpears14 : I swear if you do it one more time I'm gonna report your ISP and say you were sending me kiddie porn you fck up.

EminemBNJA : Oh sh*t

EminemBNJA : damn I gotta write down your names or something:

WARNING: CONTAINS LANGUAGE THAT IS NSFW. Bloodninja log archive

Origins

Bloodninja was a guy who intentionally sought out cyber sex partners only to completely ruin their good time. Not much is known about the man or even if he's still alive. His real name is rumored to be Loren.

The Bloodninja logs were originally posted on the V6Power forums. The ensuing traffic armageddon got the thread deleted. Other sites such as Albino Blacksheep and bash.org have since picked the logs up, increasing awareness.

Rise to fame

Posting logs of himself ruining cyber sex. Causing the beginning of the end of cyber sex (no, not really).

Judging by references to Britney Spears, Eminem, Ken Griffey, Jr. and raves, the logs are likely circa 1997-2001.

Current status

Unknown. New logs continue to surface using his name, but these are likely false. "I put on my robe and wizard hat," a line from two of his logs, is still highly recognized as hysterical. The 2006 JRPG Disgaea 2 features an item that when equipped states "I put on my robe and wizard hat"/

Images

The closest Bloodninja had to a catchphrase

Bloodninja appearing in outside media

One of the first websites to reference Bloodninja

Videos

Related Pages

Bloodninja/logs

Cybering

NSFW

Troll

External Links

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