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Finger Box
A reference to something that doesn't exist.
- Date Discovered: 07/2010
- Discovered On: 4chan
Summary
In the opening post of a Finger Box thread, a seasoned internets expert phrases a seemingly genuine query regarding said finger box, in a manner that suggests that everyone will know what the OP is referring to.
The fiendishly clever trap is now set for some hapless victim to come along and spring it by inquiring what a finger box actually is, thus outing themselves as someone unfamiliar with such traditions and new to the board and culture of the site or forum. Much hilarity is then shared by everyone who is in on the joke.
Generally the finger box is referenced as being a wonderfully crafted "Box of Pleasure" that is usually made from wood or sometimes aluminum.
Origins
Finger Box originated on /b/ as a way of being vague and exposing new people or those who aren't hardened lurkers.
Current status
Fingerbox is one of the more searched for memes, suggesting it is still popular (and confusing).
Sample Posts
I was a shut in neckbeard who never had a girlfriend before I crafted my first finger box. Now all i do is have girls wanting to finger box with me.
Does anyone know of a website where I can order a finger box lid replacement? Mine broke and I don't think I can last much longer without daily use. I'm really jonesing for the old finger box. I'm thinking about going for one of the newer German models. Anyone have any experience with them?
Sample Comment
What is a finger box?
A finger box, though ostensibly a relatively simple device, is in fact a staggeringly complex machine comprised of several thousand finely crafted components. These are most often distributed in sets of nine, but the poor, the disenfranchised and the mentally handicapped have all been observed amusing themselves for hours at a time with just a single unit. Finger boxing (also referred to colloquially as 'fingering' and/or 'boxing') is a rapidly growing trend among teens aged 13-18. The first instance of the device, though in a cruder and less intricate form, was invented by Sir Eustace Henry Trollington more than 130 years ago in Dunbartonshire, Scotland.
A Finger box basically creates a variety of sensations by stimulating the nerves of the finger tip, though the fun was short-lived when a group vicious saboteurs started contaminating the devices with old razor-blades, broken glass and ebolavirus. Panic ensued as a result of the dismemberments, lock-jaw and in some cases, slow and inexorable deaths. This led to the inevitable banning of the devices by the UK parliament in 1919, with the rest of the developed world quickly following suit.
Although still illegal, the finger box black-market saw a boom in sales during the 1980’s and was redeveloped into its current electrical module in the mid 1990’s buy an unnamed Chinese worker. The device works on the same principles as electrical prosthetic limbs, an electrical impulse is shot up the nervous system that will make the hand think that it is feeling something; anything can be simulated such as stroking a cat or shaking a hand.
The finger box costs around $50 per box and demand outstrips supply by ten to one, with some waiting times rumoured to be up to four years. Reportedly, some fingerboxes have been sold for over $5000.
Images
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