oh internet

Rockstars living on the edge, until their arrest in October 2010. Party!

Summary

On October 12, 2010, these three thirty-year-old manchildren drove a big truck decked out with 1337 Hannah Montana graphics of their band down the 101 Freeway and suddenly pulled across three southbound lanes and stopped to (traffic) jam at the busy Sunset Boulevard off-ramp, right in the heart of Hollywood. They then hopped onto the roof of the truck (dubbed the "Star Wagon") to start the performance and sing their hit single, "Traffic Jam 101", whilst annoying the already hot and bothered commuters with their horribad "music". It was so earsplitting that numerous calls to 911 had the California Highway Patrol, the L.A.P.D., and the L.A. Fire Department swarming down upon the makeshift gig/twenty mile-long two-hour traffic jam to make it stop.

After getting these stupids down, the L.A.F.D. handed the perps over to the L.A.P.D. who promptly cuffed them and v& them off to Downtown L.A., where they were booked for suspicion of malicious and willful disturbance by loud noise, willful obstruction of public officers or emergency medical personnel, committing an act of injuring the public health, and unlawful assembly. The driver of the truck drove away from the scene in another vehicle, taking the keys to the truck with hi], but it didn't take long for the cops to track him down and charge him too. All four were later each released on $10,000 bail. Their magic bus was eventually towed and impounded (along with the speakers) by the po-po.

It may seem like they were trolling IRL but they weren't because they did this to "help homeless children" - but how was it helping? Why not run some sort of benefit concert oh wait like a bunch of manchildren know better.

The trio's composed of Christopher Roy Wright (32), David Paul Hale A.K.A. Paul Arabella (30), and Keith Richard Yackey (31).

Mission accomplished?

The band claims their mission is purely unselfish and about raising awareness to the plight of all the 1.5 million homeless children across the USA, but are not actually affiliated with any of the organizations that currently advocate for runaways. Regardless, the band claims that half the money they make off sales of "Traffic Jam 101" will be donated to charity. This is generous of the lads, since 50% of nothing = nothing, which also equals the projected lifetime net profit of Imperial Stars' entire career. However, considering they are pwnt by the Los Angeles District Attorney and handed a bill for wasting the resources and time of the L.A.P.D. and the L.A.F.D., they will probably be out panhandling alongside the homeless to raise funds for their defense fees and fines. Plus, causing traffic jams that could get people fired for being four hours late for work does the exact opposite. They are facing several misdemeanor charges, including disturbing the peace, and have booked a date with the courts on November 3, 2010.

The band has since apologized, but band member Keith Yackey said he was glad he did it, and wouldn't hesitate to do it again.

Reactions

This lame attempt at nabbing for attention annoyed off a lot of people, including all the overworked and underpaid cops and fire fighters who had to respond to the SigAlert that was issued by the California Highway Patrol. Anything to do with the already screwed-up freeway system in Los Angeles is serious business, so clogging up a major artery that runs through the heart of Hollywood and Downtown L.A. like the 101 will create havoc throughout the whole system, backing up traffic for hours and creating major butthurt and road rage like if you were actually having a stroke. And for a cash-strapped city like L.A., the cost of dealing with the whole mess will create even more butthurt and rage. Once the news got out, their Last.fm and YouTube pages were flooded.

“	1,307 people missed the button...oh wait, no they didn't	„
—csqw

And who was pressing charges?

On October 13, 2010, the L.A. Weekly blog updated with this:

Other junk

Making this story even lulzier, Keith Yackey, the band's guitarist, was once an associate pastor at the "Calvary Chapel Saving Grace" in Yorba Linda, Orange County, then moved to Montana to open another Calvary Chapel church. After failing it there he decided to become a Las Vegas real estate mogul, which of course logically led to his creating a crap band backed by Hannah Montana-esque graphic design.

Inspiration

The name "Imperial Stars" is a rip-off of a crap science fiction book by some hack writer who also ripped off the idea from a sci-fi novella by the prolific E. E. "Doc" Smith. In the book, the year is 2447 and the Empire of Earth comprises more than a thousand inhabited systems. A threat to the Empire has developed and the Imperial secret service "SOTE" has been unable to foil it. In desperation they turn to the Family D'Alembert for assistance. The Family D'Alembert are natives of a high gravity planet, giving them unusual strength and speed. Traveling the galaxy under the cover of their famous circus, they are the Emperor's super secret force. Before that, they were called "Imperial Assassins", a name also ripped off from a crap game, Warhammer by way of Star Wars. TL;DR: Imperial Stars are a bunch of basement-dwelling stoner nerds.

They also appear to have tried their hand at entertaining other captive audiences in the past.

Origins

Some sort of Los Angeles pop-rock band that's really bad. Their idea of raising awareness for homeless children included doing this stupid stunt that set people stuck in traffic for a long time. Not only were they stuck in traffic, but they had to listen to incredibly bad music too. So of course people got angry. Someone even missed an important meeting.

Rise to fame

Their publicity stunt. Once it hit the news, their YouTube channel was flooded with negative comments and downvotes to Hell and back. To this day they have very little subscribers.

Current status

Who cares?

Famous Quote

Facts

• They are rockstars livin' on the edge.

• They're known for hanging out and partying with their friends.

Images

BUSTED.	DERP!	The po-po reply to the 'Stars.	Free concert!
The Facebook profile.	The babes were paid to do this.	Lookan' kinda cool.	Buy our shirts!
~*~Photoshop~*~	Homeless kids!	Neon colors!	Aww yeah folks.
Cool story, bros.	Keith Yackey is a guitar hero, and a fatty.	Out of jail, from their Twitter.	Oh man I'm getting my credit card right now.
Put this poster in your room if you want to avoid getting laid.	The Magic Tool Bus.	A forum talks about their negative publicity.	Totally awesome album.
Totally EDGY.	iTunes reviews.	Bootleg 50 year old rockstar with AIDS?	More iTunes reviews.
Even more iTunes reviews.	Vanity license plate of the guitarist.	Pretty fly for a white guy.	Oh snap!
This looks like a good idea.	Wee-woo-wee-woo.	The madness finally eneds.	Too bad the truck didn't suddenly move.

Videos

Related Pages

Black Out Band

David Tanny

Mr. Ghetto

Rebecca Black

Rucka Rucka Ali

Troll

External Links

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