oh internet

You wish you were him.

Summary

Copypasta that appears occasionally on /b/, the entirety of the text is as follows:

Hey Faggots,

My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than "jack off to naked drawn Japanese people"? I also get straight A's, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and my bitch

Origins

In mid-2007 an image of a typical Guido and his bleached and faux-tanned girlfriend and its accompanying text was spammed relentlessly on /b/ and after a period during which it was considered a forced meme, it took on a life of its own, with posters changing and mutating the contents to cover a wide variety of subjects, from anime to religion to chemistry.

The young man pictured turned out to be Paulie Carbone, who died July 10th 2007 in a street racing accident in New Jersey. The image appears to have been appropriated by a troll who happened upon Carbone's memorial myspace page.

Current status

This meme continues to expand and mutate, with new versions occasionally appearing from time to time.

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