True Capitalist Radio
An online radio show about capitalism hosted by a drunk Texan that gets constantly trolled
- Facebook: Unknown
- Twitter: Ghostpolitics
True Capitalist Radio, previously going by the name of True Conservative Radio and True Conservative Republican Radio, is a 3-hour online amateur radio show hosted on BlogTalkRadio by the overly-patriotic, binge drinking Texan Capitalist Ghost, who obsessively discusses capitalism, conservatism, economics, politics and world news. The online radio show is notorious for its troll baiting/raids, in which a congregation of chantards besiege and besmirch the show, usually with lulzy and totally clever pranks such as Rick Rolling or playing that SpongeBob clip when they were calling Texas stupid. Even more notable is how Ghost reacts to these trolls, which has him act so unbelievably insane with rage and fury. Some argue that Ghost is hands down the easiest and most trolled lolcow ever, while others believe it's all part of a gimmick.
Despite being easily trolled, many are dubious of Ghost and how he constantly overreacts to the trolls on his show, suspecting that Ghost is a "master troll" and purposely displays high levels of butthurt in order to draw a crowd in deceit. Despite these allegations, Ghost has stated over and over that he isn't a troll and denies the gimmick of catering to the same unfunny trolls who wouldn't know a good joke if it slapped them across their face in order to increase hits. Even after explaining it a countless amount of times, many are still skeptical. Additionally, as Ghosts states, he has "capitalists throughout the world" listening to him, and that he wouldn't waste the time with trolls to deprive them of that just to gain more listeners. Even if what Ghost says is true, it truly doesn't matter as his show, once a place for true conservatives and capitalists, turned into a pissing contest in a pool of piss.
True Capitalist Radio started off small, and went by the name of "True Conservative Republican Radio". The first episode, hosted on BlogTalkRadio, aired on January 11, 2008 and unlike the current episodes, it was a bit more calm and the phone callers were actually somewhat sensible. In those days, the focus was directed more on conservatism and how liberals, with their continuous "Anti-American and hypocritical retardation", continued to ruin America. Ghost also tackled issues like the continuing "liberal agenda" as well as how feminism, communism, socialism, and any other regime that are currently plaguing America. In other words, it was a poor man's Savage Nation radio show with a host who took his audience and his show somewhat seriously.
The show was another "me-too" conservative radio show, mimicking Micheal Savage, who is also a very controversial right-wing nut job. While in its early days it lacked the apparent hijacking from /b/, there were occasional prank calls or heated debates made by angry libs. While Ghost did occasionally yell and curse, it was all pale in comparison to the levels of mad he produces today.
Starting from the 26th of January in the same year the show opened, Ghost decided to drop the "Republican", which shortened the name to "True Conservative Radio" (TCR). While the show aired a couple of days a week, on March 2, 2008 Ghost had listed that TCR would air 5 days a week at it's regular time of 3:30 PM - 6:30 PM CST, though that wasn't entirely true as he commonly refrained from doing a show whenever he succumbed into extreme rage or depression after being trolled continuously. Some have expressed their concern (more like lack of concern) for Ghost, awaiting the day when he dies from high blood pressure or heart failure due to the explosive rage he displays and if that doesn't kill him, surely the over consumption of alcohol will. Of course, they will still laugh.
Finally, on January 11, 2011, after 182 episode of True Conservative Radio, Ghost decided to change the show's focus and shifted the main topics on to discuss business, finance, economics and current event topics. Thus, the birth of True Capitalist Radio following the day after, with the trolling only growing bigger with each day.
Rise to fame
Much of Ghost's rise of fame can be accredited to the trolls who raided his show everyday. Without them making his blood boil to the point of a near coma, his show wouldn't be a fraction as popular as it is now.
Despite once having a seemingly respectable following of conservatives and capitalists, the demographic shortly changed from those who listened for his rants and ravings on politics to a bunch of newfags seeking to troll Ghost and anger him. It all began around 2009 when a bunch of /b/tards, rolling around in their mountains of unoriginal content and forced meme usage, saw one of Ghost's episode of True Conservative Radio and how worked up he got while typically whining about liberals, socialist agendas and how they're trying to further destroy America. With this golden opportunity to raid and troll, a thread emerged targeting Ghost and soon, his chat room, the phone calls, and overall demographic of listeners became filled with trolls from 4chan. It's quite clear that the "tens of thousands" (re: about 10 people, himself included) of capitalists that tune in make up only 2% of his audience.
A completely oblivious Ghost was unaware of the increase of listeners his broadcast was receiving and why he was constantly getting prank call after prank call. 4chan was able bring out the very worst in Ghost, making him reach a plateau of rage that would theoretically make him go Super Saiyan. There have been times TCR has gone offline for a moment due to Ghost being mad and having the computer disconnected. Every airing of TCR would bring in new people listening, yet none of them interested in a single thing Ghost had to say and just wanted to laugh at his misery and feed off his tears. In fact, Ghost has stated that he sweats on a consistent basis because of how worked up he gets even when his office is air conditioned to a breezy 60 °F. Sound boards, Rickrolling, that "Fuck You Texas" song, audio splicing, and whatever the hell kind of malarkey that always get spammed are to be expected.
99% of Ghost's trolls, or "cyber vermins", are summerfags who just discovered /b/ and still think it's "lulzy" to spout Over 9000 or troll Chris-chan, so it's no wonder they're so bad at trolling. They come from all places whether it be /b/, some stupid Pony imageboard, or an IRC server filled with unfunny sperglings. A majority of them lie within his chat room, all of them mocking and laughing at him. It's theorized that all of Ghost's trolls are gingers, since according to Ghost, they have no soul. Because of this, Ghost's health is often a subject of satire especially when Ghost pants heavily and often throws up, wheezing heavily like a chain smoker from his rampage. Ghost has even cried many times during the show and sits there weeping, overwhelmed by the fact that nobody takes his show seriously. Ghost has been trolled so hard, that he often goes on a hiatus, wondering why he's catering to the ungrateful listeners in the first place.
At this point Ghost pretty much knows every trick in the book when it comes to the newfags who troll his show, often humiliating and putting them in their places which many either hang up or remain silent. All of this is usually a boost to Ghost's fragile and over-inflated ego, which again will be shattered by another troll in which he'll take 30 minutes complaining about. As the alpha male Texan that he is, Ghost wishes he could meet all of the trolls he has to deal with at a bar so he can beat on them like he does with his pool of beer cans. Some "milky lickers" are usuals on TCR, such as the caller who wants to engage in homoerotic activity with Ghost from the 213 area code (whom Ghost affectionately calls him "that damn Internet Butt Stalker").
Audio splicers are very common and have made all sorts of YouTube poops and even soundboards of Ghost, with one of them being called "Ghost Adventures". They then proceed to play their audio splicing when calling up Ghost which is usually the easiest way to piss him off. Audio splicing TCR usually makes up half the videos you can find when searching it up on YouTube, while the rest are raids and videos that make Ghost seem like a complete racist moron. Like a convicted felon in trial, anything and everything Ghost says will and has always been used against him. Ultimately, the type of splicing that upsets Ghost the most is when they're remixed into a song, or YouTube Poop Music Video.
There are a couple of YouTube channels dedicated to making or remixing songs by splicing Ghost's voice. A typical video of Ghost on YouTube, whether it's spliced or not, has thousands of views. On a daily basis, Ghost has told the splicers to "cease and desist" in making anymore videos/soundboards or that he will one day take action in removing them all. Unfortunately, unlike Dora the Explorer, the splicers won't go away even if Ghost chants "Splicer, no splicing!".
As if the amount of trolls sabotaging Ghost's quest in "restoring and educating" America was bad enough. Bronies emerging and occupying 4chan after MLP gained a cult following only led to more veins popping out of Ghost's head and probably shortening his life span by 40 years (as if he wasn't already in bad health). Like anything else inane and creepy the youth of the internet does, Ghost couldn't comprehend the asinine fascination that a bunch of 20-something year old neckbeards have for a show intended for little girls. But what else do you expect from 4chan?
Ghost is the Final boss and arch-nemesis of the Brony scourge. As a matter of fact, Ghost despises Bronies to the point of that he would rather convert to a socialist liberal than embrace MLP, though he'd rather die a horrible death than be either one of those. Like with any of the other trolls, Bronies too took advantage of TCR for cheap entertainment and laughs. Many have even accused Ghost of being a Brony himself as well as draw Ghost in Brony-form. With the continuing increase of Brony converts, the once serious show began to have a high number of Brony listeners. Just by looking at his BlogTalkRadio account where the "Followers" and "Recently Viewed" list, which displays the last 8 people, will show at least half of the people with a My Little Pony avatar, much to the dismay of Ghost.
True Capitalist Radio still remains to be an online radio show popular among trolls. Though it's not raided everyday, it still remains to forever be the ideal training grounds for amateur trolls.
Your Host, The Man They Call Ghost
Not much is known about Ghost other than the fact that he's some drunk guy from Texas. Many trolls banded together to find Ghost's dox and find out just who exactly he is, though all have been futile in their quest of doxxing Ghost. They then call Ghost and address him by what they believe is his name in which Ghost proceeds to calls them out and states that they'll never find out his true identity. Some people believe that Ghost isn't a real person and that he's just a character created by the man who voices him. This theory is quite plausible as Ghost is an expert with voices despite not being a professional voice actor.
Mr. Fortune Cookie & Pals
Surprisingly, True Capitalist Radio is allowed to air in the communist infrastructure that is China. As Ghost states, any time he criticizes the Communist Government of China, he's binded to give a rebuttal for them by "one of the Commie bastards" to give their own bias perspective of all things good about communism and China. Mr. Fortune Cookie (sometimes spelled "Mr. 4chan Cookie" by channers), is a communist, Mao-worshiping Azn with a very thick Chinese accent who deeply hates "Amelika Maddafakkas" and laughs knowing that China "owns" them.
Of course, Mr. Fortune Cookie isn't the only overly-stereotypical guest on TCR. If one thing is clear, it's that Ghost is an expert when it comes to doing racial impressions (every racial/national impression) and that Ghost has a variety of voices that he uses. For example, Ghost has his fruitbowl voice, which is an overly-gay homosexual with a camper voice. There's his "brotha" impression as well as Consuela, that one Mexican maid from Family Guy. There's also Tyrone, a black man from "da hood" who also is a gangsta. Oh, and that one Mexican named Paco.
The Radio Engineer
Generally considered an overall cool guy and loved by all. Despite Ghost being the host, the engineer is obviously the true star of the show. Some are skeptical of the engineer, believing he's just another voice done by Ghost, yet no one ever takes the time to wonder if Ghost is actually the engineer! Despite being Ghost's alcohol lackey, it's quite clear that he's Ghost's biggest troll and that he's secretly a spy working for the "Gay Marxist Liberal Nation of Canadia". The engineer is obviously a victim of employer abuse and is underpaid (>implying he gets paid at all), working over time for free like an employee at a Chinese sweatshop. From playing the wrong songs to starting the show late, it's a surprise the engineer hasn't been fired yet.
While he has the muffled, shouting voice of someone with Down-syndrome, he's clearly someone of high intelligence as he sabotaged True Capitalist Radio more than any of Ghost's trolls combined, all while doing this right under Ghost's nose, but then again it doesn't take much to troll Ghost. The engineer never leaves the station, being imprisoned and forced to sleep on the heap of beer cans. Everybody loves the engineer, and the audiences' preference of him has often proved Ghost to be envious of him. Why else would Ghost never let any of his callers talk to him?
Typical Episode of TCR
Ever since Ghost shifted his attention mainly on baiting the heaps of pathetic trolls who have nothing better to do on a Fri... Baller Friday, pretty much every episode has been following the same formula. For instance, Ghost starts the show off with enthusiasm and his obnoxiously annoying laughter followed by discussing current events and some topics that relate to capitalism. Considering the fact that all of his listeners have the attention-span of a goldfish, Ghost then turns to taking phone calls, whether they're land-line or through Skype.
On a usual day, the fun of True Capitalist Radio doesn't begin until Ghost starts taking phone calls or drowns himself in the cheap, generic six-pack of beer that his Radio Engineer, who he treats like a slave, fetches for him from the 7-11 down the street. Upon listening to one of his shows during his temper tantrums, Ghost happens to take his anger on rattling his bag of empty beer cans violently. The beer cans are from previous shows, which are littered all over the recording studio. In fact, there are so many beer cans, Ghost often has to play Marco Polo just to find his microphone. The littered cans are saved to be recycled so he can buy more beer (how else do you expect him to capitalize?).
Some particular days of the week on TCR are more important than the other, such as Baller Friday. Baller Friday is the best day of the week and is for the hardworking Americans that are out there making their own money and not leeching off the government. It also is the day that Ghost gets trolled the hardest. From Baller Friday stemmed off spin-offs such as Taco Tuesday and Fruitbowl Wednesday.
Every Episode of True Capitalist Radio Ever
- Ghost starts the show
- Asks listeners to "use and abuse" the sharing buttons and spread his show around "like wildfire"
- Ghost talks about current events
- The audience get bored, so then proceeds to start taking calls
- Ghost receives a typical "Ghost is a(n) X" call, which Ghost then starts whining and has another one of his ALLCAPS rage fit for about 30 minutes over a call that was only two seconds long
- Ghost calms down, slurps up three cans of beer and takes another call
- Ghost again has a heated debate with a caller and gets angry
- Ghost checks the chat room
- Ghost, yet again, rages hard
- Starts taking calls from Skype
- GUESS THE MINORITY!!
- Rages about how nobody takes him seriously and displays proof of his bad health
- Ghost rehashes why he's doing this show and how he despises the youth of America
- Brings in Mr. Fortune Cookie to please Communist overlords from China
- Tells the engineer to fetch him another 6-pack
- Another drunken rant about the current economic crisis which Ghost thoroughly proves he hasn't a clue about anything that he talks about
- Radio Graffiti
- Cans.wav en masse
- Shoutouts and more rage
- Ends the show
It's quite obvious why True Capitalist Radio isn't an FCC licensed radio show considering the fact that Ghost is madly drunk the entire show, the excessive and vulgar language used, the constant dead air when he ragequits, he doesn't have any real experience of being an on-air personality, and the general public doesn't have time to sit and listen to some drunken hillbilly shouting at the top of his lungs foolishly trying to educate some chantards tuning in for the sake of laughing at his expense and turmoil.
Guess the Minority
It's everybody's favorite game, "Guess the minority!". Whenever Ghost senses some "ethnic wang" from a caller, he starts up Guess the Minority. Basically, Ghost takes a guess on a certain caller's race and has everyone in the chat room type in what they believe the caller's race is. Ghost then proceeds to ask the caller questions such as what their favorite food is. According to Ghost, he's able to figure out someone's entire biography from just their voice alone. It should be noted that Ghost is never wrong when guessing and that it clearly proves that he is NOT a racist Klan member and is, indeed, a melting pot of friendship.
The best part of the show, without a doubt. Radio Graffiti is where Ghost starts calling the trolls who call him and give them 3 or 4 seconds to say whatever they want and if they take too long to respond, Ghost will skip to the next caller. To no surprise are most calls being a "U mad", "The game", or "Ghost is a X", mostly being either Jew, racist, or more recently, Brony. As namesake, Radio Graffiti is like a sewer wall tagged all over with pretentious and thoughtless malarkey tagged on by a couple of lifeless teenagers who literally have nothing else to do with their lives and wanting a few seconds of fulfillment after leaving. 9/10 calls has Ghost pissed off and disappointed, providing him with no lulz. Radio Graffiti is perfect proof of /b/'s faggotry and lack of original content, with all /b/tards pretty much using the same demented thought process that their calls hardly differ from each other. But this is common knowledge.
Radio Graffiti is always stopped when Ghost's already thin patience runs out and goes back to ranting throughout the rest show over one short call and how he doesn't appreciate fruitbowls always fruitin' up his show, which is depriving the true capitalists tuning in from Ghost's advice that will make them millionaires. Ghost will also implement "martial law" which puts heavier moderation on the already anarchical chat room, yet it always backfires.
Also considered to be the best part of the show. Basically, Ghost either goes to his chat room or his Twitter feed and starts calling out names. Most people either thrive to suck up to Ghost with a supportive tweet or try to piss him off with a crude and insulting username just so they can get acknowledged and shamelessly brag about it to their friends on IRC. Many trolls who try to get shout-outs will make a bunch of sock puppet accounts on Twitter, with user names that are slanderous, disgusting, perverted, and/or anything else that will piss off Ghost resulting in a "I'm not saying that" or a "Shove it up your ass!". A fan favorite is Poop Tickler, with many creative variations (P00p 71ck13R, Sgt. Poop Tickler, Poop Tickler Jr., Baby Poop Tickler, Aunt Poop Tickler, etc.).
After abandoning his blog and started focusing on capitalism, Ghost entered a new venture by opening CapitalistArmy.com. It's supposed to be a social network and forum for "true capitalists" where they discuss all things capitalism. In reality, that's the last thing it's used for. CapitalistArmy unintentionally serves as a haven for Ghost's trolls and has even become a major Brony hangout. The "ass clowns" that continue to ridicule Ghost have even banded to make sure that the top member list tab display members with My Little Pony avatars which they pretty much succeeded in.
I'M A MELTING POT OF FRIENDSHIP!
I'M SHOOTIN' PEARLS!!
I'M A CONSERVATIVE (Note: Now changed to "Capitalist"), GODAMNIT! I'M A CONSERVATIVE!!!
Give me Capitalism, or give me death!
(sighs in anger and disappointment)...Jesus Christ
Get this *insert insulting noun* out of here, get him off for Christ's sake! GET HIM OFF!
What the hell happened to this country?
(Spliced Audio) I'm a gay fruitbowl racist brony poop tickler, SPREAD IT LIKE WILDFIRE for Christ's sake.
GIMME THE MIC, GIMME THE GODDAMN MIC
God damn fruitbowls!
You sound fruitier than a box of Froot Loops
THEY'RE FRUITIN' THE SHOW UP! They're fruitin' up for Fruitbowl Wednesday!
You freakin' transtesticle fruitbowls...
Nut up or shut up
SPREAD IT LIKE WILDFIRE!
DAMN INTERNET BUTT STALKERS!
Satan is good, Satan is my pal
MY SHOW IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!
Where's your mom? Don't lie. She's not at work; I'll tell you where that skankasaurus (sometimes "dishrag whore") is! She's at T.G.I. Friday's during happy hour looking for an ethnic minority to give her some Alabama black snake and the horizontal mambo!
Playin' with yer Peter-Popper, eh?
I DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS, Y'KNOW! I CAN END THE SHOW RIGHT NOW IF I HAVE TO!
I'M JADED! I'M DEPRESSED!
- Ghost is from Texas
- He's a Conservative Republican
- He borrowed his avatar of the skull with a cowboy hat from Third Coast Music Network, which is an online radio show based in San Antonio, Texas
- Is an alcoholic, though he will claim that he's not and is actually an "alcohol connoisseur"
- Has intense hatred for liberals, feminists, bronies, Howard Stern, "anamee", commies, minorities, socialists, Alex Jones, apologists, people collecting welfare checks, internet buttstalkers, fake conservatives, rappers, and Canada. Or to make a long story short, anything that disagrees with him.
- Uses the excuse that he has black, Latino, Asian, any other minority friends to cover up being racist and that he is, in his own words, a "melting pot of friendship" and a "Nice guy"
- Considers Austin, Texas "the greatest country in the world"
- Is the prognosticator of prognosticators
- Used to own a retail store in San Antonio, Texas
- Is married
- Hates South Texas almost as much as he hates Bronies, which he brands it as the "colon of America"
- Quite possibly has a hormone imbalance
- Will never forgive or forget Canada for booing America while they played their national anthem at a hockey game 5 days after 9/11
- His favorite game is the original Metal Gear
- Ghost can sing and can even rap despite his hatred for it.
- He lives lavishly because of the welfare checks he receives in the mail (do you honestly believe he makes enough money because of an amateur radio show listened to by tens of thousands of capitalists throughout the world?)
- Has ties to the Illuminati, is a 9th degree Mason, and is a member of capitalist Zeitgeist agenda according to Alex Jones
- Is obsessed with Capitalism
- Ghost absolutely deplores people cashing out of food stamps despite it actually being capitalism
- Will most likely die from a stroke
- Has enough beer cans laying around to make a house made entirely of beer cans
- Is in critical need of an anger management class
- Despite keeping a low profile on his true identity, there have been attempts to have him doxxed. Though, all have been futile and some had their IP address posted by Ghost to put the fruit bowls in their place
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