The dullest love triangle in the history of books and film. Also, sparkly vampires.
- First Found: Unknown
Twilight is a Mary Sue series of novels, and a depressingly predictable series of film adaptations featuring twinkly vampires and ditzy teenagers.
Remarkably, the books were written by a thirty year-old woman, and not a twelve year-old girl - not only that, they weren't published as a result of some disasterous misunderstanding!
An uninteresting girl called Bella Swan (see what Meyer did thar?) that everyone inexplicably adores, and who evidently enjoys being a victim, becomes involved with the emasculated vampire and serial abuser, Edward Cullen. An example of Bella making excuses for Edward:
—Bella, after Edward takes the engine out of her car so she can't see other people.
—Bella, after Edward falcon-punched her in the vag.
—Stephen King - telling it like it is.
—Robert Pattinson's opinion of the books.
People's appetite for this drivel is worryingly persistent. It is rumored that their will be a new prequel book called Breaking Dawn, to be released. But after a 10 chapter leak, Meyer freaked out and decided not to write it anymore of it, citing that she would kill all the characters (even though it's the first book from a different perspective). Either way, a plus for humanity.
- It blows.
- If you're a guy and you like Twilight - best keep it to yourself.